|
|
|
Mordel's Bar & Grill |
|
  |
» |
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Warhammer: 3025
Freelance
Captain, AFFC (Ret.)
Joined: 29-Jan-2005 00:00
Posts: 1856
|
 Posted: 02-May-2005 12:17 Post subject: Pondering aloud |
  |
|
*Stands up, and begins to unleash a barrage of ideas, ponderings, and questions*
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
_________________
Evil is like a bowl of oranges. Only one, instead, is an orange of DOOM. That orange has a fate to rule over the other oranges with an iron fist. That orange is me.
Because sometimes, there are many guards in the castle.
Ya Rl'yeh!
|
|
| Back to top |
 
|
StarRaven
Federated Suns
Leftenant General
Joined: 01-Jun-2004 00:00
Posts: 1138
Location: United States
|
| Posted: 02-May-2005 12:40 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Quote:
|
On 2005-05-02 12:17, Warhammer: 3025 wrote:
*Stands up, and begins to unleash a barrage of ideas, ponderings, and questions*
|
|
You ask, and I bring wisdom.
Quote:
|
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
|
|
It is. It's just that you can't spell.
Quote:
|
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
|
|
Lack of imagination.
Quote:
|
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
|
|
To soldify in your mind the connection between driving and booze. This means that cops make more arrests, and more money.
Quote:
|
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
|
|
If you appreciate his act, yes; otherwise, no.
Quote:
|
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
|
|
No, but it sounds good. Getting together with the cheerleader valedictorian in high school would have been real then, instead of hypothetical.
Quote:
|
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
|
|
Slowly.
Quote:
|
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
|
|
You should go in and ask the clerk. It would likely be an interesting conversation.
I think it's to protect against carnivorous smurfs.
Quote:
|
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
|
|
With great difficulty. And it doesn't last for long, either.
Quote:
|
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
|
|
The cat will land on its side. Or the world will end. You should avoid doing that, just to be safe.
_________________
"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close semblance to the first."
- Attributed to General Aleksandr Kerensky
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
|
| Posted: 02-May-2005 12:47 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
And if you shoot the rabbit. On what side it will fall? Left or right?
_________________
The dragon NEVER sleeps!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Oafman
Draconis Combine
Tai-sho
Joined: 18-Nov-2003 00:00
Posts: 1657
Location: United States
|
| Posted: 02-May-2005 15:05 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Methinks that the answers were funnier than the questions.... 
_________________
Festina Lente!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Warhammer: 3025
Freelance
Captain, AFFC (Ret.)
Joined: 29-Jan-2005 00:00
Posts: 1856
|
| Posted: 02-May-2005 15:31 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Me too. Bravo, StarRaven!
  
_________________
Evil is like a bowl of oranges. Only one, instead, is an orange of DOOM. That orange has a fate to rule over the other oranges with an iron fist. That orange is me.
Because sometimes, there are many guards in the castle.
Ya Rl'yeh!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
WhizzbangThePowerSquig
Royal Black Watch Regiment
Master Sergeant
Joined: 21-Mar-2005 00:00
Posts: 345
Location: Canada
|
| Posted: 02-May-2005 21:05 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Quote:
|
On 2005-05-02 12:17, Warhammer: 3025 wrote:
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
|
|
All you need to do is attach a pole to the cat and the toast, and attach the other end to a generator. Bingo, unlimited power, as the cat would be trying to land on it's feet, and the toast (I almost wrote taoist) would try to land butter side down. Therefore, the would spin, thus turning the generator, thus creating an infinate source of clean energy. Until the cat expired. But try not to think of that...
(PS: Cited from the Munchkin's Guide to Power Gaming)
_________________
All fear Squiggy!
"I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy - okay, give me the bomb." - Ultra Magnus
|
|
| Back to top |
|
SaberDance
Federated Suns
Colonel
Joined: 07-May-2004 00:00
Posts: 837
|
| Posted: 03-May-2005 17:28 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Bringing additional wisdom:
Quote:
|
On 2005-05-02 12:17, Warhammer: 3025 wrote:
*Stands up, and begins to unleash a barrage of ideas, ponderings, and questions*
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
blame the Greeks. Why is monosylabic such a long word. Same reason.
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
A fat chance is an ironic statement. Slim chance is a statement of fact. I used to know the technical grammar terms for this, but I forget them now.
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Strictly speaking, you don't need a driver's license, you need a government ID with your date of birth. A driver's license is the most common and the easiest to read, but a MID or a passport would work too. Bars have parking lots because we have zoning laws. Most pubs that I saw in Europe didn't have them since they were within walking distance of residences. Here, we put our bars out in the boonies.
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
meh. Silencers don't do that much for you, unlike the movies would have you believe.
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
go here: http://www.mindspring.com/~mfpatton/Tissues.htm
I personally recomend arguing with Socrates when your done.
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
They drive trucks with snowplows on the front. One of them lives down the road from me.
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
See aforementioned zoning ordinances.
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
Teflon doesn't stick to the pan, the pan coated in teflon and then compressed. Literally, it's held on by the pressure. So my chem prof explained it.
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
The same thing that happens when you cross the beams. It's very bad.
|
|
_________________
"Politics is the Art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, misdiagnosing the problem, and applying the wrong solution."
-Groucho Marx
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Warhammer: 3025
Freelance
Captain, AFFC (Ret.)
Joined: 29-Jan-2005 00:00
Posts: 1856
|
| Posted: 03-May-2005 18:45 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Not as funny as StarRaven.
_________________
Evil is like a bowl of oranges. Only one, instead, is an orange of DOOM. That orange has a fate to rule over the other oranges with an iron fist. That orange is me.
Because sometimes, there are many guards in the castle.
Ya Rl'yeh!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
WhizzbangThePowerSquig
Royal Black Watch Regiment
Master Sergeant
Joined: 21-Mar-2005 00:00
Posts: 345
Location: Canada
|
| Posted: 03-May-2005 19:30 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
You know, I could do a few actual answeres, too.
Quote:
|
On 2005-05-02 12:17, Warhammer: 3025 wrote:
*Stands up, and begins to unleash a barrage of ideas, ponderings, and questions*
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
|
|
Try not to think about it. The english language is messed. Best just to let it be.
Quote:
|
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
|
|
I couldn't even guess. See above for best bet.
Quote:
|
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
|
|
Technically, you can drink and drive, and you don't even need a driver's license to drive or get booze. However, it is generally frowned apon, and actually illegal. Still, doesn't mean you can't do it. More that you shouldn't.
Quote:
|
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
|
|
Wouldn't make a difference. The question is, whould he scream?
Quote:
|
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
|
|
Hypothetically speaking? No.
Quote:
|
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
|
|
I think the answer given earlier was the most likely. Either that or he drives a tank.
Quote:
|
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
|
|
I can tell you the reason, as I work at a 24 hour gas/convienience store. After dark, they become "secure buildings". Means that they are still open, but are in lock down. Suposedly, it is to discourage robberies.
Quote:
|
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
|
|
Don't know. Not something I really care about, either.
Quote:
|
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
|
|
You already had my answer. Really, you'd get an angry cat, and a piece of toast covered in hair.
_________________
All fear Squiggy!
"I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy - okay, give me the bomb." - Ultra Magnus
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
|
| Posted: 04-May-2005 02:49 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Kill both, or neither just for unexpected consequences 
_________________
The dragon NEVER sleeps!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Daphne Wilde
Star League Defense Force
Lieutenant Colonel
Joined: 19-Sep-2003 00:00
Posts: 425
Location: United States
|
| Posted: 04-May-2005 16:33 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
I like Both.... saves time.
_________________
Lt.Col.Daphne Wilde
504 Para. 82 Div.
Io
? & ?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Beebles
Kell Hounds
Lieutenant
Joined: 12-May-2004 00:00
Posts: 209
Location: Ireland
|
| Posted: 05-May-2005 06:41 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Both gives it an aspect of realism.. You get a part just part evil war with varying ammounts of warcrimes.
_________________
too lazy to make a sig...
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Dragon
Draconis Combine
Tai-i
Joined: 06-Apr-2005 00:00
Posts: 4820
Location: Czech Republic
|
| Posted: 05-May-2005 12:45 Post subject: RE: Pondering aloud |
|
|
Just like every war and tornado and ...
Interesting to watch from safety, but nobody wants to be in there.
_________________
The dragon NEVER sleeps!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
| |
» |
All times are GMT-04:00 |
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
